Ryoko White and the Seven Dudes
by VappyChan
Summary: A little spam-fic spoof of


Disclaimer: To all you anime nuts out there, here's a little warning in advance. We have lives. We do not daydream in class all day about "getting it on" with an anime character who doesn't even exist. There is life beyond Japanimation. As we are not totally addicted to animes (although it's pretty close) we may make some mistakes from time to time (not meaning typos, but actual things in the storyline) such as small anachronisms and character appearance and background flaws. For example, we may say that Ryoko has teal hair and you may think she has white hair. Goku may not die in the Cell saga. And so on and so on. So, for all you people out there who still lack a life beyond your TV and computer screen, we know that you may want to correct these mistakes by e-mailing us with death threats and such. If there is one thing we don't need, it's losers like these unnamed people bitching about how we screwed things up in a just-for-fun fanfic. Therefore, if you would like to complain about the content of our fics regarding the above mistakes, write a statement. Then proceed to turn your statement into a stick. E-mail it to yourself. When you receive it, please take it and shove it up your…umm…nose. Thank you, and we love all you readers!  
  
Real Disclaimer: Tenchi and Co. belong to Pioneer. The DBZ crew belongs to Funimation (I think). Pokemon is property of Nintendo (I think (again)). Any other characters such as Sailor Moon, Outlaw Star, and Gundam Wing belong to their respective companies.  
  
And now, on with the fic!  
  
  
  
1 Ryoko White and the Seven Dudes  
  
1.1 A Crossover Spamfic by Cavotim-San  
  
1.1.1 Cavotim-San = Michelle, Saiyan Nutjob, and Danielle  
  
  
  
Cast:  
  
Starring:  
  
Ryoko Habiki (as Ryoko White)  
  
Tenchi Masaki (as The Prince)  
  
  
  
Co-starring:  
  
Trunks Briefs (as Sexy Dude)  
  
James of Team Rocket (as Goofy Dude)  
  
Son Goku (as Stupid Dude)  
  
Vegeta Bejito (as POed Dude)  
  
Brock (as Single Dude)  
  
Gene Starwind (as Assassin Dude)  
  
Duo Maxwell (as Too Much Hair Dude)  
  
Nagi (as the Queen's Evil Henchwoman/Secretary)  
  
Ken-ohki (as Nagi's ever faithful cabbit)  
  
Ayeka Jurai (as the Evil Queen)  
  
Washu-chan (as the Good Queen/filing cabinet)  
  
Washu's hubby (as Good King (for a very short period of time))  
  
Kagato (as insane evil man)  
  
Various Pokémon, cabbits, and moonkitties (as the woodland creatures)  
  
Mihoshi Kuramitsu (as the HAPPY girl)  
  
The Voice of King Kai (as the Magical Water Basin)  
  
Officer Jenny (as Officer Jenny)  
  
Jim Hawkins (as Jim Hawkins)  
  
Aisha Clanclan (as the priestess)  
  
  
  
Once upon a time, there lived a happy little anime kingdom where all the happy little animes lived happily together in peace and harmony. And there were a king and queen of this anime nation. The queen, Little Washu, was happy as her happy little experiments made the happy little woodland creatures happily go BOOM.  
  
The king with no name for no particular reason, however, was not happy.(Say what? A person in this fic not happily happy? We'll show HIM!)  
  
And so, by command of the most glorious authors (one of them, anyway…), a VERY happy girl with flowing blonde hair strode up to the king with no name for no particular reason and started babbling incessantly to him, therefore annoying him to death.  
  
This made Washu really POed (not to be confused with POed Dude, appearing later in this story). In a fit of rage, Washu unleashed a terrible machine transforming the authors from hilariously happy to… horribly hentai!  
  
In yet another fit of rage, Washu performed a very strange experiment with her egg cells in which Ryoko was created. Then, under yet another glorious command under the gloriously hentai authors, an insane evil man with green hair and freaked-out eyes turned Washu into a filing cabinet. The Washu filing cabinet then scampered off into the forest never to be seen again (at least, not any time soon). Another act of this insane evil man was to vote Ayeka Jurai queen of the new nation.  
  
Authors' Comments:  
  
Michelle: You don't vote for a queen!  
  
SN: Then how do they become queen then?  
  
Danielle: The mysterious Kagato swoops down from the sky and dubs them with his royal cheese-  
  
Michelle: Some green haired jerk-off slapping a piece of rotten Limburger in your face is no basis for a system of government!  
  
SN: Oh let's just get on with the stinking fic!  
  
*Continuing on…*  
  
Queen Ayeka was now legal guardian of Ryoko White, now that her "mother" was a filing cabinet.  
  
Years passed, and Ryoko White grew into a hot, nosebleed-worthy babe with spiky teal/white hair and a figure to cause slight paralysis in any male. Her evil foster mother grew into a middle-aged purple haired babe (gone to seed and slightly moldy). Queen Ayeka was bent on her appearance and owned a magical water basin. Whenever she needed assurance of her beautifulness, she would ask the basin of water if she was not the hottest babe alive. The water basin, of course, always answered what his queen wanted to hear, if only to keep his job. One day, though, he got a little tired of this charade.  
  
Queen Ayeka went up to her basin of water and looked in its reflective surface.  
  
"Water, water, in my sink, who's the hottest, do you think?  
  
Say it's me and answer true, or surely I will fire you," she recited with a queenly air.  
  
The sink replied its usual reply.  
  
"You, Queen Ayeka. You're the hottest babe around," he said in a monotone. "…Not…" he muttered under his breath.  
  
"What was that?!" Ayeka exploded.  
  
"Oh, nothing," he rippled.  
  
"Who could possibly be more beautiful than I?" she asked vainly.  
  
"No one," he replied. "Except for Ryoko White," he muttered under his breath (again).  
  
Authors' Comments:  
  
SN: Water doesn't breathe!  
  
Michelle: Shut up!  
  
*Continuing on…*  
  
"Ryoko White you say? Not that ugly slutty step-daughter of mine! She cannot possibly contend with my looks," Ayeka said in that annoyingly royal British-like accent. Oy.  
  
"But just in case…" Ayeka said thoughtfully. "MISS NAGI!" she called loudly. Instantly, a hooded woman whose face was cloaked by a thick black shawl appeared.  
  
"Yes, Queen Ayeka?" the Queen's henchwoman replied wickedly.  
  
"I have a job for you. I want you to kill Ryoko White," the Queen said evilly.  
  
"Hah!" Nagi snapped her fingers. "Easier done than said my queen," she said as she faded from view and teleported out of the room.  
  
*Out in the Courtyard…*  
  
Ryoko White sat in the Courtyard of the palace picking flowers and drinking a quite-large-but-almost-empty bottle of sake. As she was sitting there, she heard a voice quite similar to Kermit the Frog. She floated up and over the row of hedges to find a black haired teenager struggling near some thorn bushes. She appeared behind him and heard a string of angry four letter anathemas floating into the air and causing the bushes to blush.  
  
"Come on you ****ed cape! Get outta the ****ing bushes you piece of ****!" the boy cursed.  
  
"Now there's a man of many words," Ryoko mused to herself.  
  
"Hello!" Ryoko said from behind him. He jumped several feet, causing the other end of his cape to be caught in a tree branch and leaving him dangling in mid-air.  
  
"Oh! I didn't see you there… how long have you been standing there?" he asked, blushing.  
  
"Long enough," she replied, grinning. Floating up, she freed him from the clutches of the greenery.  
  
"My name is Tenchi," the boy hastily introduced himself.  
  
"And I'm Ryoko White," she said, noticing a drop of blood running from his nose as he stared at her large… assets. Tenchi, realizing he was about to suffer from an unusually large nosebleed, excused himself and ran off. Ryoko sighed and began to break into a loverly rendition of, "Someday My Prince Will Come." Suddenly, Saiyan Nutjob ran across the stage with her arms making cutting gestures.  
  
"NONE OF THAT!" she yelled. "NO SINGING IN THIS FANFICTION!" She ran off and left Ryoko White sweatdropping and a little disappointed. So Ryoko went back to gathering flowers and drinking sake while various woodland creatures looked on. Suddenly she heard footsteps behind her and twirled around to see none other than Nagi, her step-mother's evil secretary. The moonkitties and company scattered.  
  
"Hello, Ryoko White," Nagi said with a cold glint in her eye.  
  
"Enough with the small talk," Ryoko responded. "So, did dear old mommy send you to do me in again? I kicked your ass last time. Come back for more?" she said innocently.  
  
"This ends now, Ryoko!" Nagi replied, smirking (in that evil secretary-ish tone). She pulled out an extraordinarily large gun, only to find out that it had been half-eaten by a hungry cabbit. Ken-ohki shrugged helplessly and grinned, showing a full mouth of bullets, metal, and teeth. Nagi sweatdropped.  
  
Ryoko powered up, created a huge ball of energy, and blew Nagi to smithereenies.  
  
"This isn't over yet!" Nagi's voice was heard as her body shriveled into dust and blew away.  
  
"Yes it is," Ryoko giggled sweetly. Ken-ohki, slightly saddened by his owner's demise, went into a blind rage and leaped at Ryoko. Ryoko, terrified because Ken-ohki most likely had rabies, ran off into the woods and kept running until she was sure the cabbit was not following her. She looked around, but the woods were unfamiliar. She knew couldn't go home because either Ken-ohki would bite her or her step-mother would try to kill her outright. So she wandered around the woods until it started to get dark. In the darkness, every Rattata, cabbit, and Sentret was thought to be Ken-ohki by Ryoko White.  
  
She decided to find shelter, and came across a rather large tree house like the one the Lost Boys in Peter Pan lived in. She walked inside, even though it wasn't quite as modern as her home-sweet-palace. She wandered around, noting the seven large king-sized beds, each with a name engraved on the bedpost with a very shoddy knife. They read:  
  
"Sexy Dude"  
  
"Goofy Dude"  
  
"Stupid Dude"  
  
"POed Dude"  
  
"Single Dude"  
  
"Assassin Dude" and  
  
"Too Much Hair Dude."  
  
"What strange names," Ryoko White remarked out loud. "Although I think I'll wait around to meet Sexy Dude…"  
  
Suddenly, a song was heard coming from a short distance away (this one is permissible by the authors). "Hi ho! Hi ho! It's off to bed we go!" sang six voices, POed Dude abstaining from anything pleasant like singing. The voices varied, one sang the wrong words quite loudly, another tried to sing over that voice, one was terribly off key, one was high pitched and squeaky. The seven Dudes burst in the door, tired from their hard day at work (saving the world, stealing woodland creatures and such, shooting people, hitting on women, and flying around in a spaceship that looks remarkably like the one belonging to the Power Rangers). Ryoko White looked up from the table and stood up as the Dudes entered their tree house.  
  
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A HOE!?" she yelled angrily. The Dudes stopped in their tracks, obviously pondering the lyrics.  
  
"Errr…no one!" a purple haired Dude spoke up politely.  
  
"Oh okay then," Ryoko White replied and smiled sweetly, instantly changing mood. "Oh aren't you all *adorable*? Let me guess," she said, pointing at the purple haired Dude. "You're Sexy Dude, right?" she asked. He nodded and grinned.  
  
"Umm…what's a hoe? Did someone call you a hoe?" a spiky black haired Dude asked, a vacant, confused smile on his face. Ryoko guessed that this would be Stupid Dude.  
  
"Oh shut up, Stupid!" another spiky black haired Dude said crossly. That would be POed Dude, Ryoko assumed. A quiet Dude with scars like a tiger's stripes stood silently in the back of the small mob, smiling confidently – Assassin Dude, she guessed.  
  
"You shouldn't be so mean!" a rather attractive blue haired Dude with large turquoise eyes spoke up, defending Stupid. POed glared at him but said nothing.  
  
"Hello, Madame. Allow me to introduce myself," a black haired Dude with lines for eyes spoke up, pushing to the front of the group. "I am Single Dude," he said, bending over to kiss Ryoko's hand.  
  
"Uhh…yes. I am Ryoko White," she said politely, pulling her hand away from his grasp with some difficulty.  
  
"Ryoko White?" a brown haired Dude with a long brown braid asked. "The princess?"  
  
"The same," Ryoko agreed.  
  
"I am Too Much Hair Dude," the Dude said, running a hand through his bangs. "Nice to meet you." That left Goofy Dude to be the blue haired guy, the princess guessed.  
  
"And what brings your loveliness to our humble cottage?" Single Dude asked, grabbing Ryoko's hands once more. His face was tinted red and Goofy Dude rolled his eyes.  
  
"Well, my evil step-mother sent her evil secretary to kill me, but I whooped her and then her cabbit tried to eat me. If I go back to the palace, surely my step-mother would try to kill me openly," she said innocently, drawing a sympathetic look from Single Dude.  
  
"Why would she do a thing like that?" Goofy asked, concerned.  
  
"I have no idea," Ryoko White said sweetly.  
  
"You'll be safe here," Stupid Dude said gallantly.  
  
"Blast you all!" POed Dude exclaimed. "You're going to let a woman stay here? Why, she'll bring us nothing but trouble."  
  
"That's true," Assassin Dude spoke up. "But she is hunted by the Queen, who we all know to be evil," he said darkly. "I say we let her stay," he said with a confident but quiet voice.  
  
*Back at the Castle…*  
  
The Evil Queen Ayeka sat tapping her royal fingers. This was the longest it had ever taken Nagi to kill someone. Suddenly, a very angry looking white cabbit dashed through the doors of the palace mewing angrily. The Queen knew that this was Nagi's cabbit and leaped over to her water basin and asked if she was the hottest babe around yet.  
  
"We're sorry. King Kai is not available at this moment. Please leave your name and question after the tone. This magical water basin is powered by PowerTel," a woman's voice stated in a monotone, followed by a beep.  
  
"Oh, sorry Queen Ayeka!" came the water's voice. "Didn't get you in time. What can I do for you?"  
  
"Water, water, in my-" Ayeka started, then paused. "Oh, you know!" she exclaimed.  
  
"No, you're not the hottest babe around yet. Ryoko White still lives," the water rippled cheerfully.  
  
"Darn," she cursed.  
  
Authors' Comments:  
  
SN: Darn those fuzzy censors! You can't say a darn thing with those mother fuzzers around… shoot… durn it.  
  
*Continuing on…*  
  
Ayeka stormed down to her secret laboratory, evil plans for Ryoko's death circling in her mind. She hefted a huge tome from its shelf and dropped it with a *thump* onto a table. She thumbed through the pages, looking for a good death spell.  
  
"Ah! Here it is! 'The Drought of Drunken Death'," she said, tapping a page. Reaching up onto a shelf, she grabbed various bottles, mostly strong alcoholic beverages. "Bourbon, for a pungent odor; sake, for pure drunken unconsciousness; vodka, so that she may pay homage to the porcelain gods;  
  
Authors' Comments:  
  
Michelle: *Reads from the "Hentai Dictionary"* … "Paying homage to the porcelain gods – slang for vomiting. See also – puking, barfing, hurling, throwing up, blowing chunks, loosing your lunch, riding on the big white bus, talking on the big white phone, calling for Earl, and upchucking." Weird. Where do they come up with this stuff?  
  
*Continuing On…*  
  
rum, for that slight buzz; and brandy, for a little flavor," Ayeka quoted as she tossed the drinks, bottle and all, into a big cauldron. There was a slight explosion, and when the dust had cleared Ayeka found her hair to be a total mess and her less-than-fair skin singed black. Glancing into the pot, a slight whiff of the pot made the Queen dizzy.  
  
"Kimi no carrot cake, the seal is in the trash can," she said dizzily, the fumes affecting her brain a bit. Snapping out of it, she noticed the concoction smelled strongly of sake. "Perfect," she smirked, recovering from the smell.  
  
"Now, for a disguise no one would ever recognize me in," she announced to no one in particular. "A hot, nosebleed-worthy babe!" She thumbed through the spell book again, slamming her index finger down on page 495478, "How to Transform a Middle-Aged, Purple Haired Hag (Gone to Seed and Slightly Moldy) into a Hot, Nosebleed-Worthy Babe."  
  
"Here!" she exclaimed triumphantly. "Not exactly what I was hoping for, but it'll do."  
  
*Back at the Seven Dudes' Cottage…*  
  
Authors' Comments:  
  
Michelle: I thought you said it was a tree house!  
  
SN: Quiet, you!  
  
*Continuing On…*  
  
Ryoko White said a short good-bye to the Seven Dudes, promising to come back very soon. She politely refused Single Dude's many offers to accompany her through the "dark and scary and dangerous woods" (they really lived in a cheerful open meadow) and set out to pick flowers to arrange in the cottage.  
  
Authors' Comments:  
  
Danielle: These fairy-tale heroines like to pick flowers a lot, don't they?  
  
Michelle: And you DID say it was a tree house!  
  
SN: Details, details!  
  
*Continuing On…*  
  
While innocently picking flowers and not-so-innocently guzzling sake, Ryoko White heard a familiar rustling in the nearby shrubbery. She curiously stood up and skipped over to the foliage to see what all the commotion was. She stuck her head through a row of bushes and looked up to see the boy she had met earlier that day (before the rabid cabbit attack) dangling (yet again) from a tree.  
  
"Oh, hi, Tenchi!" she greeted him, stepping out of the bushes to peer up at him.  
  
"Ahh! Oh, uhm, hi, Miss Ryoko," he replied, looking down at her. All at once blood began to gush from his nose as he got a bird's-eye view of her… assets.  
  
"Would you like me to help you get down from the tree again?" she asked politely. He nodded quickly, lifting a hand to his nose in an attempt to halt the nosebleed-in-progress. She freed him yet again from the clutches of the "evil greenery" and set him gently down on the ground. She noticed the blood dripping through his fingers and grinned mischievously.  
  
"Ohhh, are you hurt?" she asked sympathetically.  
  
"Oh, erm, this?" he squeaked, pointing to his nose. "It's nothing, just, um, nothing, really," he laughed nervously.  
  
"Don't be silly!" she exclaimed, running at him and tackle-glomping him to the ground. "You need to get that looked at right away," she purred.  
  
"Gah! MissRyokowouldyoupleasegetoffmeyou'reaverynicepersonbut," he paused to take a breath, "Idon'tthinkthisisagoodideaseeingasI'maprinceandI'mbetrothedtoQueenAyeka!"  
  
Ryoko White stayed motionless, absorbing the shock of his rather long statement. This guy was a prince? And he was engaged to… *gasp* Queen Ayeka? This was all too much for her to bear. She hastily got off of him and ran off crying.  
  
Prince Tenchi looked after her forlornly and realized that he had indeed fallen in love with the girl who had saved him from the evil grasp of the local flora twice.  
  
Authors' Comments:  
  
SN/Michelle/Danielle: *Point at Tenchi* LOSER! HAH HAH!  
  
*Somewhere a Long Way Off…*  
  
Ryoko ran blindly, tears streaming from her eyes. "Why? Why did he have to be engaged… to HER?!" she asked herself. She continued to run until she came to a roadside stand with a sign proclaiming, "FREE SAKE". She paused for a moment, strongly tempted to drown out her sorrows in a river of booze. She shrugged and sat down at a stool, leaning over the counter. She looked up at the slightly-familiar face of the barmaid. She thought for a moment that the woman looked a bit like her evil foster mother, but dismissed the notion as quickly as it had come – for this was a hot, nosebleed-worthy babe, while her evil foster mother was a middle-aged, purple-haired hag (gone to seed and slightly moldy).  
  
"Why the long face?" the barmaid asked in a sweet tone. Ryoko was silent and simply accepted the large glass of sake handed to her.  
  
"Guy trouble?" the purple-haired babe asked sympathetically. Ryoko nodded, simply staring at the glass in front of her.  
  
Authors' Comments:  
  
Michelle: NOOOO! Don't do it!  
  
SN: Shut up… she has to, otherwise there will be no chase scene!  
  
Michelle: Oh, right.  
  
Danielle: Don't give away the plot, stupid!  
  
*Continuing On…*  
  
Ryoko sighed and lifted the glass to her lips, downing its entire contents in one fell swoop. She was instantly knocked unconscious, her head dropping to the table and her body going limp.  
  
"Hah HAH!" Ayeka crowed. "It worked!" She started to drag Ryoko's body into the woods to dispose of it when she felt it move. Ryoko lifted her head slowly, a crazed look in her eyes.  
  
"Oh, no!" the evil, purple-haired lady wailed, "She's not dead!" Ayeka hastily dropped Ryoko White, who leaped to her feet and laughed insanely.  
  
"I'll show him! I'll show them all!" she screamed, then took off running again.  
  
Authors' Comments:  
  
Michelle: Sounds like us on Mountain Dew!  
  
Danielle: Where does the Burmecian step-dancing come in, then?  
  
SN: Not THAT much like us…  
  
*Continuing On…*  
  
Back at the Seven Dudes' Cottage once again, Ryoko White opened the door to Assassin Dude's car. She got in and started it up, then tore out of the meadow leaving a dust cloud behind.  
  
"HEY!" Assassin Dude yelled, running out of the front door. "That's my friend Jim's car! COME BACK HERE!" he shouted, then cursed and ran back inside.  
  
Ryoko floored the gas pedal and sped out of the forest, paying no heed to the unfortunate trees that got in her way. She turned a sharp left and spun a 360 as she accelerated even more and drove down the highway. She gripped the steering wheel tightly, her eyes bloodshot and her body shaking with the effects of the Drought of Living Death (which did not affect her as much as the evil Queen Ayeka had hoped, due to her high tolerance to alcohol).  
  
All at once she heard police sirens behind her… she cursed loudly and sped up, ramming the pedal to the floor. "Hah, HAH, coppers! Think you can catch the great Ryoko at last?! NOT A CHANCE!" she yelled loudly to herself. She laughed crazily but stopped short when she saw a familiar lad on a motorcycle pursuing her. He revved the engine and reared up on one wheel, catching up to her in a matter of seconds. Ryoko rolled down her side window, grabbed him by the shirt collar, and threw him in the passenger seat, his motorcycle forgotten.  
  
"Ryoko!" Tenchi gasped. "I… just... wanted… to tell you…" he breathed hard. She looked over at him, the crazed expression on her face not lost.  
  
"Ah HAH HAH HAH!" she laughed gleefully and glanced back at the police motorcycle which was still following her. "!@#$!" she cursed loudly, a drunken smile plastered on her face.  
  
"Uhm, Miss Ryoko?" Prince Tenchi interrupted.  
  
"Yezzzzzz?" Ryoko replied, still laughing.  
  
Authors' Comments:  
  
SN: Good LORD, she's buzzed!  
  
Michelle: No kidding…  
  
*Continuing On…*  
  
"Ryoko, I think that nice police officer wants you to pull over…" Tenchi admitted, trying to calm the obviously severely intoxicated Ryoko.  
  
"Mmmmmkay," Ryoko White agreed, her eyes crossed. She slammed on the brakes, causing everything in the car to go flying forward.  
  
"Owww…" Tenchi gasped, suffering from a violent case of whiplash. Ryoko blinked and rolled down her window as the police motorcycle pulled up. She unbuttoned the first few buttons on her shirt, giving any onlooker a nice view of her… assets.  
  
"Is there a problem," she began in a seductive voice. She then looked up into the face of Officer Jenny, who stared down impassively at the stoned girl. "Officer?" she finished, her voice ending in a squeak.  
  
All of the sudden, all three characters' attentions were turned towards a blonde haired boy with an oversized gun running full speed towards them.  
  
"GIVE ME BACK MY CAR!" he yelled, firing a shell at them. Officer Jenny screamed and jumped onto her motorcycle, pulling away just before the shell hit.  
  
"HAH HAH!" Ryoko yelled back, starting the car up again and speeding off. Jim ran after them and fired another shell from his caster, this time hitting the back of the car. Ryoko screamed as the car swerved violently and the back tires gave out. She opened the door and staggered out, Tenchi following hurriedly.  
  
"Serves you right, you car thief!" Jim scowled, getting in his car and driving off. All at once Ryoko's legs gave way and she started to feel the effects of the Drought of Drunken Death. She collapsed to the pavement, and Tenchi ran over to her. Ayeka arrived on the scene, panting, and smiled triumphantly.  
  
"At last, it has worked!" she gloated. "With Ryoko White taken out by my Drought of Living Death, now I will be the hottest babe in all my kingdom!"  
  
Tenchi gasped and pointed an accusing finger at Ayeka. "So you are behind this?" he asked angrily.  
  
"But Lord Tenchi, this horrible creature was rampaging across my kingdom… She abducted you from your own motorcycle!" she protested.  
  
"How could you POSSIBLY have known that?" Tenchi asked incredulously. Ayeka shrugged.  
  
"That is irrelevant now. Come with me back to my castle, and we can… ah… play 'Hide the Salami!'" the queen suggested.  
  
"Isn't there any way to revive her?" Tenchi asked pitifully, pointing to Ryoko.  
  
"Yes, yes… by True Love's Kiss," Ayeka replied.  
  
Authors' Comments:  
  
Danielle: Now, Ayeka isn't THAT stupid!  
  
SN: You severely underestimate the stupidity of the Juraian baka gene!  
  
*Continuing On…*  
  
"Now, how about we go to my place and curl up by the fireplace?" Ayeka pressed closer to the prince.  
  
"No, Queen Ayeka, I cannot. If you would go so far as to kill someone just to become the hottest babe in all your kingdom, then I can't love you," Tenchi turned to Ryoko White, now lying limp in his arms.. He lifted her up a bit and kissed her passionately.  
  
Authors' Comments:  
  
Michelle: Awww…!  
  
Danielle: Awww…!  
  
SN: Ewwww!  
  
*Continuing On…*  
  
Ryoko's eyes fluttered open and she looked at Tenchi, the drunken insanity completely vanished. "Oh, Prince Tenchi!" she gasped, then returned the favor.  
  
The tender moment was interrupted by a loud metal clang as a filing cabinet fell out of a tree. A twelve-year-old redhead climbed out of the top drawer and exclaimed dizzily, "Man, what a trip!"  
  
"Mommy?" Ryoko facefaulted.  
  
"Who did you expect?" Washu-chan replied airily, waving a hand around dismissively. "Now, YOU, young lady," she turned to the queen. "YOU have been bad." She turned around to look at her shadow computer which appeared midair. The super-genius tapped a couple keys, and Ayeka turned into a squat, duck-like creature.  
  
"I am turning you into a water sprite to reflect on your behavior!" Washu- chan said matter-of-factly. Ayeka made a strange quack/honking noise and waddled off.  
  
1.1.1.1  
  
1.1.1.2 Epilogue  
  
*Several Weeks Later…*  
  
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…" Aisha Clanclan began. "Man, who writes this stuff?" she wondered out loud, then shrugged and continued, "to witness the joining of Tenchi Masaki and Ryoko Habiki in holy matrimony." To the side, she whispered to Ryoko, "Can I skip to the good part, please? This is so boring!" Ryoko nodded.  
  
"Do you?" she asked Tenchi.  
  
"Do I what?" Tenchi asked, confused.  
  
"JUST SAY YES!" the C'tarl C'tarl exploded.  
  
"Okay, yes!" Tenchi agreed.  
  
"Do you, too?" she turned to Ryoko.  
  
"I do!" Ryoko said eagerly.  
  
"Then you may kiss the bride!" the catgirl slammed the Bible shut with a loud *thunk*, grinning. Tenchi kissed his bride, his eyes shooting open as he felt her tongue pinging around the inside of his mouth. He tried to keep a straight face as he heard the snickers of most of the seven Best Men standing nearby. Single Dude, Sexy Dude, and Too Much Hair Dude broke into applause, and soon the entire congregation (including the three authors standing in the back) was clapping appreciatively.  
  
  
  
~*The End*~ 


End file.
